sidetracked on the

side (of the)


she wasnt one to take advantage of anything or anyone, even during times of

need &

she needs you;

it takes a map with miles to keep him


she recently fought 240 days to be at his side as she was for


she cant get across her desire for more,

(materialistic NOT key here);

acknowledged yet dismissed, listened to but scolded,

& her cries that echoed only caused listeners to

play nervously on their phones so they wont hear,

shove those earbuds in deep

(until their nerves begin to bleed);

they couldnt be bothered.

she turned away, unsurprised. (hide your fears, they’ll ignore them too.)

please dont let me miss out on anything, she said (in passing)

and has repeated it often.

you aren’t, you wont, she was promised.

BUT if you try to discover anything new,

your dream house will include padded walls

and locks (with no keys).

discouraged, to say the least.

the very least, matter of fact.

the freedom i seek is to be out from under the

darkness and the shadows that swallow me whole.

being that i am invisible, im sure my voice resonates

only within my tortured mind.

its not what youve done (i dont care what youve done)

*or didn’t do.

i know ive been honest in every aspect in every attempt to get across

i am under fire

for reasons of a hot buttoned, hot tempered finger and i will


marshmallows shoved & ready on their




so i

smile nervously, weave through the aisles;

weave through the miles.

going nowhere,

always ending up in the place i do



it is my house, it is not home.

i can feel the vultures circling today

i sense them near

but i have no shield to protect myself, i have no direction (given freshly) to ensure





but we all learn from our mistakes.

i hope your mistake

doesn’t cost me.

i hope your deaf ears

haven’t truly lost me.

hours separate the mason-dixon

but being on the same page

is a few encyclopedias away.

i am stuck inside the Z

seeking point A

you, point B,

wave me past

down to F;

how unassuming this is where

the Fool


ive held & expressed the strongest of ideals and have only wanted you to




i begged him not to wait until its too late;

im afraid its too late.

there hasnt been clarification beyond the

mysterious end

and how i dont think he ended

the way she said it

really went

but i wasn’t there,

its just a feeling i get.

everything lately has been

just a feeling i


but fuck-

at least

i get